ADD and New Year's Resolution
A.D.D. and New Year’s Resolution
In a few days, the New Year, 2006, will begin. The year 2005 is coming to a close. What will the New Year hold for you? Most of us will try to come to grips with what we can do differently and hope to stick with it for as long as possible throughout the next year. Here are some helpful hints to get you past some common ADD and non-ADD mistakes.
Let’s review the triad core symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder. They are (1) ease of distractibility (not paying attention), (2) impulsivity, and (3) restlessness (hyperactivity). A typical scenario of an ADD person making a New Year’s resolution goes something like this.
“I have to make a new year’s resolution. I like to be able to finish all my unfinished projects. Let’s see. I have to paint the kids room. I started it last summer and have to finish it before school starts in the fall. Darn, I just don’t have the time. The washer is on the blink and I think the washer motor belt needs some adjustment. Oh, it’ll take me a Sunday afternoon to fix the washer. I have to volunteer at my church. I promised my fourth grade daughter to spend more time helping with her homework. I’m a little behind with my paperwork at work and will have to stay late most of January through March. If I don’t stay late to finish my paperwork, I may get fired…”
Does this sound like a “…have to do…” scenario? I will discuss the various scenarios and give you options & solutions. This will help the ADD person make better-informed choices and keep the focus on the resolution rather than being distracted and off target.
“I have to finish painting my kid’s room…”
The ADD person has every intention to finish painting the room. In the planning stages or the mental process, he/she expects to complete the job as schedule. However, the demands of family, preservation of spousal relationship, having some difficulty in saying “no”, work/career related commitments, etc contribute to the unfinished projects. The natural impulsiveness of the ADD person is an admired trait that usually initiate the project because someone in the house said, “Could you please paint my paint?” Without accurately evaluating the request, the ADD person “impulsively” agreed to the request. However, with proper training to say no and with some practice, the more appropriate response could be something like “could we talk about it at another time?” This technique is for the ADD person to have some time to think it through and prioritize the commitments before agreeing to take on the project. The key point is “under promise, over deliver”.
“The washer is on the blink…”
Anticipate and take note of funny noises coming from the cloth washer. Don’t procrastinate. Start getting together a strategy to either replace the washer or fix it. If you are mechanically inclined, you may consider fixing it yourself. The ADD person usually thinks he/she can fix the darn thing. There is that “I can do it” mentality. It is a good thing. By making an attempt to fix the washer, the decision has been made which leads one step closer to a solution. The saying “it is best to have tried and fail then not to have try at all and never know the experience of success…” describes the ADD attribute.
“Volunteer at my church…”
As a regular church member, it is difficult to say no when ask if you (the ADD person) can volunteer to help with church events. The initial impulse would be to say yes. Then, after some moments to prioritize and think of prior commitments, it seems like your plate is full. Adding more responsibility will just overfill your limited plate (of commitments). Again, the ADD person inadvertently overextended himself/herself. So, pause for a few seconds (which may seem like hours to an ADD person) before agreeing with additional obligations.
“More time spent helping with homework…”
This is great to say to a child, but the commitment may be difficult for the ADD parent to follow through amidst all the other previous promises. This is a high priority issue and should be done with caring and love. If the child is ADD, this time spent interacting together is priceless. Recall that sometimes the ADD person has inaccurate/unrealistic interpretation of the relationship. This is where the “ADD person may feel the highs, higher and the lows, lower (or disappointed) than their non-ADD counterpart.” Besides, this is good thing in any family to spend as much time as possible getting involved with your child’s school assignments.
“Behind with my paperwork at work…”
Paperwork is usually not the forte of the ADD person because paperwork is a “linear” process and the ADD thinking process is typically not a linear systematic process. ADD people tend to be result focus and target their activities accordingly. Moreover, the ADD person tends to be easily distracted and easily get off track from their “boring” paperwork. When the paper work is boring, even very slight degree of distractions from co-workers in the form of “what do you think of this…”, background noises, environmental distractions, is all it takes for the ADD person to get off course. The ADD person needs to be diligently focused in the workplace. Therefore, learning to say in a friendly manner “I’m busy right now, but can we discuss it later?” would be a good technique to maintain a pleasant workplace environment with co-workers. This same ease of distractibility quality (I call it the “scanner” ability) is necessary as a creative element necessary for success in the entrepreneur arena. Some may refer to it as thinking outside of the box. The distractibility (and paradoxical hyperfocus ability) is a “catch-22” double edge sword for the ADD person who isn’t aware of his/her uniqueness. So, plan your paperwork time at work appropriately to minimize miscommunication issues amongst co-workers.
How are we going to make a reasonable New Year’s Resolution for the ADD mind?
Begin by making a list of all your goals, projects, and things you wishes to accomplish during the upcoming year. Put this aside and just sleep on it. Let the ideas sit in your mind. Your mind will filter out what you don’t need and some things you definitely need to improve on. The second draft or revision should exclude overwhelming projects that may not be feasible. The next draft should be your New Year’s resolution that will be committed and follow through during the year. Remember don’t over promise yourself or your will be frustrated. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself when you don’t meet up to your expectations. In other words, don’t beat yourself up unnecessarily. In addition, you may want to formulate a 30 day plan, 60 or 90 day plan, one year plan, three year plan, five year plan, and long term ten year plan. This is to keep you on focus on what you want and what your passions are so that you may achieve as much of them as possible. Your mind is a powerful weapon and remember the old saying: “be careful what you wish for; they may come true”. Good luck with your resolutions.
I hope I have share with you the thought process necessary to get to the New Year’s resolution. Next week, I will help you compose a life plan/business plan to keep your New Year’s resolution new! Keep your eye on the target (of life) and be happy.
Have a wonderful, exciting and happy New Year. See you in 2006.
In a few days, the New Year, 2006, will begin. The year 2005 is coming to a close. What will the New Year hold for you? Most of us will try to come to grips with what we can do differently and hope to stick with it for as long as possible throughout the next year. Here are some helpful hints to get you past some common ADD and non-ADD mistakes.
Let’s review the triad core symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder. They are (1) ease of distractibility (not paying attention), (2) impulsivity, and (3) restlessness (hyperactivity). A typical scenario of an ADD person making a New Year’s resolution goes something like this.
“I have to make a new year’s resolution. I like to be able to finish all my unfinished projects. Let’s see. I have to paint the kids room. I started it last summer and have to finish it before school starts in the fall. Darn, I just don’t have the time. The washer is on the blink and I think the washer motor belt needs some adjustment. Oh, it’ll take me a Sunday afternoon to fix the washer. I have to volunteer at my church. I promised my fourth grade daughter to spend more time helping with her homework. I’m a little behind with my paperwork at work and will have to stay late most of January through March. If I don’t stay late to finish my paperwork, I may get fired…”
Does this sound like a “…have to do…” scenario? I will discuss the various scenarios and give you options & solutions. This will help the ADD person make better-informed choices and keep the focus on the resolution rather than being distracted and off target.
“I have to finish painting my kid’s room…”
The ADD person has every intention to finish painting the room. In the planning stages or the mental process, he/she expects to complete the job as schedule. However, the demands of family, preservation of spousal relationship, having some difficulty in saying “no”, work/career related commitments, etc contribute to the unfinished projects. The natural impulsiveness of the ADD person is an admired trait that usually initiate the project because someone in the house said, “Could you please paint my paint?” Without accurately evaluating the request, the ADD person “impulsively” agreed to the request. However, with proper training to say no and with some practice, the more appropriate response could be something like “could we talk about it at another time?” This technique is for the ADD person to have some time to think it through and prioritize the commitments before agreeing to take on the project. The key point is “under promise, over deliver”.
“The washer is on the blink…”
Anticipate and take note of funny noises coming from the cloth washer. Don’t procrastinate. Start getting together a strategy to either replace the washer or fix it. If you are mechanically inclined, you may consider fixing it yourself. The ADD person usually thinks he/she can fix the darn thing. There is that “I can do it” mentality. It is a good thing. By making an attempt to fix the washer, the decision has been made which leads one step closer to a solution. The saying “it is best to have tried and fail then not to have try at all and never know the experience of success…” describes the ADD attribute.
“Volunteer at my church…”
As a regular church member, it is difficult to say no when ask if you (the ADD person) can volunteer to help with church events. The initial impulse would be to say yes. Then, after some moments to prioritize and think of prior commitments, it seems like your plate is full. Adding more responsibility will just overfill your limited plate (of commitments). Again, the ADD person inadvertently overextended himself/herself. So, pause for a few seconds (which may seem like hours to an ADD person) before agreeing with additional obligations.
“More time spent helping with homework…”
This is great to say to a child, but the commitment may be difficult for the ADD parent to follow through amidst all the other previous promises. This is a high priority issue and should be done with caring and love. If the child is ADD, this time spent interacting together is priceless. Recall that sometimes the ADD person has inaccurate/unrealistic interpretation of the relationship. This is where the “ADD person may feel the highs, higher and the lows, lower (or disappointed) than their non-ADD counterpart.” Besides, this is good thing in any family to spend as much time as possible getting involved with your child’s school assignments.
“Behind with my paperwork at work…”
Paperwork is usually not the forte of the ADD person because paperwork is a “linear” process and the ADD thinking process is typically not a linear systematic process. ADD people tend to be result focus and target their activities accordingly. Moreover, the ADD person tends to be easily distracted and easily get off track from their “boring” paperwork. When the paper work is boring, even very slight degree of distractions from co-workers in the form of “what do you think of this…”, background noises, environmental distractions, is all it takes for the ADD person to get off course. The ADD person needs to be diligently focused in the workplace. Therefore, learning to say in a friendly manner “I’m busy right now, but can we discuss it later?” would be a good technique to maintain a pleasant workplace environment with co-workers. This same ease of distractibility quality (I call it the “scanner” ability) is necessary as a creative element necessary for success in the entrepreneur arena. Some may refer to it as thinking outside of the box. The distractibility (and paradoxical hyperfocus ability) is a “catch-22” double edge sword for the ADD person who isn’t aware of his/her uniqueness. So, plan your paperwork time at work appropriately to minimize miscommunication issues amongst co-workers.
How are we going to make a reasonable New Year’s Resolution for the ADD mind?
Begin by making a list of all your goals, projects, and things you wishes to accomplish during the upcoming year. Put this aside and just sleep on it. Let the ideas sit in your mind. Your mind will filter out what you don’t need and some things you definitely need to improve on. The second draft or revision should exclude overwhelming projects that may not be feasible. The next draft should be your New Year’s resolution that will be committed and follow through during the year. Remember don’t over promise yourself or your will be frustrated. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself when you don’t meet up to your expectations. In other words, don’t beat yourself up unnecessarily. In addition, you may want to formulate a 30 day plan, 60 or 90 day plan, one year plan, three year plan, five year plan, and long term ten year plan. This is to keep you on focus on what you want and what your passions are so that you may achieve as much of them as possible. Your mind is a powerful weapon and remember the old saying: “be careful what you wish for; they may come true”. Good luck with your resolutions.
I hope I have share with you the thought process necessary to get to the New Year’s resolution. Next week, I will help you compose a life plan/business plan to keep your New Year’s resolution new! Keep your eye on the target (of life) and be happy.
Have a wonderful, exciting and happy New Year. See you in 2006.
posted by Dr Chan at 9:11 PM
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