Adult ADD Part One
Adult ADD Part One
The issues of adult ADD range from mild to moderate to severe. When an adult ADD has mild symptoms, do they really have ADD? What about the moderate to severe cases if they are productive successful citizens of the society? ADD is a paradigm that’s difficult to quantify. When you ask an ADD adult “how are you?” Is he/she truly and honestly “fine”? Problems of self-esteem, depression, anxiety, unfilled hopes, dreams and desires and relationships are widespread. Despite the material “successes” and “achievements”, few of these adults have achieved what I consider to be successful – a sense of accomplishment, serenity, humility and balance (spiritually, family, career, etc) in their lives.
We are approaching a holiday season where many of the ADD issues will become either suppressed (denial) or exaggerated. For example, let’s talk about self-esteem issues in the holiday season. The subject of self-esteem during family gatherings could be uncomfortable for the ADD adult if he/she feels not meeting the family’s expectations. Add the potential of alcohol to the mix, there may be some volatile moments for a memorable holiday seasons. On the other hand, there may be the denial of self-esteem issues. To the extreme, there may be arguments over the interpretation of what is consider being a self-esteem issue within the family culture.
Anxiety is another common symptoms that may manifest in some unpredictable strange way during the holiday season. Have you been in touch with the family during the past year? Are you in good speaking terms with the extended families going to be present? Any potential frictions from past gatherings that have not been resolve would be “baggage” from previous gatherings waiting for a spark to trigger an unhappy situation? As an adult ADD with environmental misinterpretations, anxiety becomes even more of an issue during the holiday season because of our attempt to overcorrect so as to be accepted by others. This over correction may be a “misread” on the part of the ADD adult to “make a fool out of himself”. Thus, creating more negative feelings amongst the gathers toward him. So, use caution!
Depression is common during the holiday season when you feel alone and without someone close to share the experience. If you have ADD, the depression may be more intense than normal. Since alcohol and drugs are available for self-medicating, this temporary relieve of depression may create more depression later on when the substance metabolized by your body. So, be cognizant of your feelings and ask a trusted loyal friend for honest feedback and checkup.
Relationships are an interesting glimpse into human nature during the holiday season in ADD and non-ADD adults. Even “normal” adults have to work on their relationship to get through the holidays because of the great demand on their time and commitments. An ADD adult sometimes feel “aimless” in their relationship because of the large number of people in need of his/her attention during the process of meetings, parties, career related advancement strategies, last minute projects, gifts, old friends and families, and children. It is critical to have a balance so that no one group receives more attention than necessary at the expense of the others. Let’s face it, there’s the same amount of time for everyone in each day, 24 hours, so use it wisely.
Unfulfilled hopes and expectations will be there so don’t let yourself get overly excited about these things during the holiday. Try to understand the rationale for false expectations and hopes for this holiday and learn from it. If you were disappointment during last years holiday, come up with solutions to prevent making the same kinds of mistakes.
Failed to finish many projects you started since the beginning of the year? OK, this is the end of the year and you feel you “have to finish it” by the end of the year. Well, I have good news for you. “DON’T” Please don’t try to finish any more projects this year unless it is of extreme importance, or you will add more anxiety, undue stress, and relationship conflicts to your holiday experience. What’s done is done. Learn from your mistakes and reorganize what projects you really need to complete after the holidays. Enjoy the experience of the holiday. I mean really “feel” the holiday spirit and the holiday joy.
An insidious habit that ADD has is being a “piler” of things. I use this term to describe a person (children and adults) who tends to pile things in some “unorganized” fashion. The items could be paper stuff and personal stuff on the table, clothes thrown into a pile on the floor, a “messy desk” at the office, things out in the open and not put away, and organizations by grouping into piles. However, from the minds of the ADD person, each pile has environmental cue significance. They seem to know where they place there stuff and in which pile. So, this is the ADD mind working differently than the non-ADD mind.
Multi-tasking. This is what ADD people do naturally partly because of their impulsivity, short attention span, their “scanning” ability, and hyperactivity (restlessness). They do multi-tasking activities very easily and naturally. That is why, the sales career, creativity business arena, people skills related careers, and some physicians (emergency room and family medicine physicians).
Dating is a complex activity for the ADD person. Let’s talk about dating traits in males and females. In males, they tend to be energetic, cocky, standup comic type, argumentative, confrontational, egotistic, multiple relationships before finding the “right” one, and has inaccurate intimacy perceptions. In the female, the tendency is for multiple intense short relationships, playful, energetic, “easy”, potential for abuse (in conjunction with low self-esteem), and a daydreamer. I’ll go into detail about human relationships and dating in upcoming postings.
The issues of adult ADD range from mild to moderate to severe. When an adult ADD has mild symptoms, do they really have ADD? What about the moderate to severe cases if they are productive successful citizens of the society? ADD is a paradigm that’s difficult to quantify. When you ask an ADD adult “how are you?” Is he/she truly and honestly “fine”? Problems of self-esteem, depression, anxiety, unfilled hopes, dreams and desires and relationships are widespread. Despite the material “successes” and “achievements”, few of these adults have achieved what I consider to be successful – a sense of accomplishment, serenity, humility and balance (spiritually, family, career, etc) in their lives.
We are approaching a holiday season where many of the ADD issues will become either suppressed (denial) or exaggerated. For example, let’s talk about self-esteem issues in the holiday season. The subject of self-esteem during family gatherings could be uncomfortable for the ADD adult if he/she feels not meeting the family’s expectations. Add the potential of alcohol to the mix, there may be some volatile moments for a memorable holiday seasons. On the other hand, there may be the denial of self-esteem issues. To the extreme, there may be arguments over the interpretation of what is consider being a self-esteem issue within the family culture.
Anxiety is another common symptoms that may manifest in some unpredictable strange way during the holiday season. Have you been in touch with the family during the past year? Are you in good speaking terms with the extended families going to be present? Any potential frictions from past gatherings that have not been resolve would be “baggage” from previous gatherings waiting for a spark to trigger an unhappy situation? As an adult ADD with environmental misinterpretations, anxiety becomes even more of an issue during the holiday season because of our attempt to overcorrect so as to be accepted by others. This over correction may be a “misread” on the part of the ADD adult to “make a fool out of himself”. Thus, creating more negative feelings amongst the gathers toward him. So, use caution!
Depression is common during the holiday season when you feel alone and without someone close to share the experience. If you have ADD, the depression may be more intense than normal. Since alcohol and drugs are available for self-medicating, this temporary relieve of depression may create more depression later on when the substance metabolized by your body. So, be cognizant of your feelings and ask a trusted loyal friend for honest feedback and checkup.
Relationships are an interesting glimpse into human nature during the holiday season in ADD and non-ADD adults. Even “normal” adults have to work on their relationship to get through the holidays because of the great demand on their time and commitments. An ADD adult sometimes feel “aimless” in their relationship because of the large number of people in need of his/her attention during the process of meetings, parties, career related advancement strategies, last minute projects, gifts, old friends and families, and children. It is critical to have a balance so that no one group receives more attention than necessary at the expense of the others. Let’s face it, there’s the same amount of time for everyone in each day, 24 hours, so use it wisely.
Unfulfilled hopes and expectations will be there so don’t let yourself get overly excited about these things during the holiday. Try to understand the rationale for false expectations and hopes for this holiday and learn from it. If you were disappointment during last years holiday, come up with solutions to prevent making the same kinds of mistakes.
Failed to finish many projects you started since the beginning of the year? OK, this is the end of the year and you feel you “have to finish it” by the end of the year. Well, I have good news for you. “DON’T” Please don’t try to finish any more projects this year unless it is of extreme importance, or you will add more anxiety, undue stress, and relationship conflicts to your holiday experience. What’s done is done. Learn from your mistakes and reorganize what projects you really need to complete after the holidays. Enjoy the experience of the holiday. I mean really “feel” the holiday spirit and the holiday joy.
An insidious habit that ADD has is being a “piler” of things. I use this term to describe a person (children and adults) who tends to pile things in some “unorganized” fashion. The items could be paper stuff and personal stuff on the table, clothes thrown into a pile on the floor, a “messy desk” at the office, things out in the open and not put away, and organizations by grouping into piles. However, from the minds of the ADD person, each pile has environmental cue significance. They seem to know where they place there stuff and in which pile. So, this is the ADD mind working differently than the non-ADD mind.
Multi-tasking. This is what ADD people do naturally partly because of their impulsivity, short attention span, their “scanning” ability, and hyperactivity (restlessness). They do multi-tasking activities very easily and naturally. That is why, the sales career, creativity business arena, people skills related careers, and some physicians (emergency room and family medicine physicians).
Dating is a complex activity for the ADD person. Let’s talk about dating traits in males and females. In males, they tend to be energetic, cocky, standup comic type, argumentative, confrontational, egotistic, multiple relationships before finding the “right” one, and has inaccurate intimacy perceptions. In the female, the tendency is for multiple intense short relationships, playful, energetic, “easy”, potential for abuse (in conjunction with low self-esteem), and a daydreamer. I’ll go into detail about human relationships and dating in upcoming postings.
posted by Dr Chan at 1:28 AM
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