Divorce and the ADD child
So many times in today's society, one or both parents decide that the partnership (i.e. marriage) can not continue further due to "irreconcilable differences." Consequently, divorce is the next course of action.
What happen to the welfare of the child??? How does that affect the child's development in the present, near future and as adults? The fighting parties may not be cognizant of the child's emotional traumas.
Here is a typical scenario and the potential solutions.
Jon is a 8 year old going through a divorce. He is on Concerta Monday through Friday with the weekends off. Ritalin is use for breakthrough task management when mother feels he is out of control and acting cranky.
Since the parents are separated living in separate households, mother takes care of Jon's weekdays, while father has him weekends.
Mother wants medication. Father don't want medication. Mother has custody responsibility, while father has no legal custody over medication issues.
How would be best handle the situation?
First, continue with medication so as to be sure Jon completes school work on a timely manner. Anything assistance and encouragement to help Jon complete school work increases his self-esteem and confidence to tackle larger projects in the future.
The behavioral issues from no medication will have to be monitored closely and redirected to better suited to societal parameters. If he is misbehaving, there must be clear negative reinforcements. These may include not allowing to the Saturday movies, no sport participation, being "grounded", etc. until the behavior is understood and corrective measures implemented. Ask Jon what would be the punishment to fit the "crime." Jon will tell you. Stick with his suggestions.
Second, what if the father doesn't want medication for Jon. How are we going to address that delicate issue? What are the alternatives to pharmaceutical medications?
A channel of communications must be established between mother and father. Both must set aside their ego and personal agenda so that medicate or not medicate would be address collectively. Easier said than done! It is a tough job to communicate with the other spouse when so much anger, frustration and emotions are at the surface.
There are many avenues to non pharmaceutical approach. However, it is labor intensive for all involved parties. Furthermore, it takes much commitment to make it work. I will illustrate them for you in a systematic way.
Once you decide the non-medical technique, you substitute other non-traditional allopathic mainstream medical approaches.
(1) Add daily supplements to the diet. These include Vitamins, antioxidants, trace minerals, omega-3 fatty acid supplements,
(2) Detoxify the physiology to enhance absorption.
(3) Change eating habits and avoid "fast foods".
(4) Behavior modification consistently to change some the bad habits to good habits. Both parents and Jon must perform this. If done this way, there is synery. If not, it is counter productive.
There are still other ways to deal with this situation.
Next week I will go into details each of the above components with links for further explanation.
What happen to the welfare of the child??? How does that affect the child's development in the present, near future and as adults? The fighting parties may not be cognizant of the child's emotional traumas.
Here is a typical scenario and the potential solutions.
Jon is a 8 year old going through a divorce. He is on Concerta Monday through Friday with the weekends off. Ritalin is use for breakthrough task management when mother feels he is out of control and acting cranky.
Since the parents are separated living in separate households, mother takes care of Jon's weekdays, while father has him weekends.
Mother wants medication. Father don't want medication. Mother has custody responsibility, while father has no legal custody over medication issues.
How would be best handle the situation?
First, continue with medication so as to be sure Jon completes school work on a timely manner. Anything assistance and encouragement to help Jon complete school work increases his self-esteem and confidence to tackle larger projects in the future.
The behavioral issues from no medication will have to be monitored closely and redirected to better suited to societal parameters. If he is misbehaving, there must be clear negative reinforcements. These may include not allowing to the Saturday movies, no sport participation, being "grounded", etc. until the behavior is understood and corrective measures implemented. Ask Jon what would be the punishment to fit the "crime." Jon will tell you. Stick with his suggestions.
Second, what if the father doesn't want medication for Jon. How are we going to address that delicate issue? What are the alternatives to pharmaceutical medications?
A channel of communications must be established between mother and father. Both must set aside their ego and personal agenda so that medicate or not medicate would be address collectively. Easier said than done! It is a tough job to communicate with the other spouse when so much anger, frustration and emotions are at the surface.
There are many avenues to non pharmaceutical approach. However, it is labor intensive for all involved parties. Furthermore, it takes much commitment to make it work. I will illustrate them for you in a systematic way.
Once you decide the non-medical technique, you substitute other non-traditional allopathic mainstream medical approaches.
(1) Add daily supplements to the diet. These include Vitamins, antioxidants, trace minerals, omega-3 fatty acid supplements,
(2) Detoxify the physiology to enhance absorption.
(3) Change eating habits and avoid "fast foods".
(4) Behavior modification consistently to change some the bad habits to good habits. Both parents and Jon must perform this. If done this way, there is synery. If not, it is counter productive.
There are still other ways to deal with this situation.
Next week I will go into details each of the above components with links for further explanation.
posted by Dr Chan at 6:54 PM
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